"Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us."
-- Paul Theroux
-- Paul Theroux
I know, the list of TV shows turned into awful movies is long and illustrious with Bewitched, The A-Team, The Avengers (british TV show, not the superhero movie that made every single dollar), et al, but sometimes a movie like Serenity comes along and shows what it's like when it fires on all cylinders. The trick is to find shows that have something to offer the big screen. Because that has to be something compelling, you won't find me pitching a "Friends" reunion movie or a "Quantum Leap" film on here. One is just a blatant cash grab, and the other just needs to be re-made, but still as a TV show. I touched on it in yesterday's Rant, but some TV shows are goldmines for movies (some are admittedly landmines). I didn't delve too far into them in the Rant, because I wanted to here. With that in mind:
10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
OK, so I'm copping out slightly to start the list since this already was a movie. But this was during his Alien: Resurrection period when Joss Whedon couldn't get any of his projects to the screen without them being hacked up and pieced back together like cinematic Frankensteins. He pitched the studio a drama and they put a terrible comedy together. It wasn't until 5 years later that he got something resembling his original vision made as a TV show. Post-Avengers Joss has the clout to get that vision he wants on the screen.
Best Case Scenario: Buffy gets the Serenity treatment
Worst Case Scenario: We already got it in 1992
OK, so I'm copping out slightly to start the list since this already was a movie. But this was during his Alien: Resurrection period when Joss Whedon couldn't get any of his projects to the screen without them being hacked up and pieced back together like cinematic Frankensteins. He pitched the studio a drama and they put a terrible comedy together. It wasn't until 5 years later that he got something resembling his original vision made as a TV show. Post-Avengers Joss has the clout to get that vision he wants on the screen.
Best Case Scenario: Buffy gets the Serenity treatment
Worst Case Scenario: We already got it in 1992
9. Twin Peaks
I know Fire Walk With Me already sort of gave it the movie treatment, but I'm talking about remaking the entire thing with a coherent story, and not necessarily an ending that wraps everything up, but does more than just raise more questions. It turns out the murder being investigated is actually committed by a demon inhabiting a town resident's body? You could take that in a horror direction, an action direction; there are so many possibilities!
Best Case Scenario: Fallen meets X-Files
Worst Case Scenario: CSI meets The Possession
I know Fire Walk With Me already sort of gave it the movie treatment, but I'm talking about remaking the entire thing with a coherent story, and not necessarily an ending that wraps everything up, but does more than just raise more questions. It turns out the murder being investigated is actually committed by a demon inhabiting a town resident's body? You could take that in a horror direction, an action direction; there are so many possibilities!
Best Case Scenario: Fallen meets X-Files
Worst Case Scenario: CSI meets The Possession
8. Deadwood
The series was great, and the fact that it only got three seasons was tragic, but nevertheless, it's almost built to be a movie. The actors can all return, although Star, Trixie, Doc etc. would all have to be minimized to focus on the real stars: Bullock and Swearengen. Their rivalry/possible uneasy truce could carry a movie franchise, so a single film is a given.
Best Case Scenario: The best western since Tombstone
Worst Case Scenario: The Quick and the Dead
The series was great, and the fact that it only got three seasons was tragic, but nevertheless, it's almost built to be a movie. The actors can all return, although Star, Trixie, Doc etc. would all have to be minimized to focus on the real stars: Bullock and Swearengen. Their rivalry/possible uneasy truce could carry a movie franchise, so a single film is a given.
Best Case Scenario: The best western since Tombstone
Worst Case Scenario: The Quick and the Dead
7. Dollhouse
I'm showing my true colors a bit with two Joss Whedon entries on the list, but the reasoning is sound. People sign contracts to have their memories erased and for 7 years, have new ones downloaded per a client's request, before being wiped and replaced yet again at the end of their "mission." In between missions they're in a tabula rasa state, but the protagonist begins to develop a persistent personality during and between missions. The antagonist is Alpha, the "doll" who downloaded every personality he'd ever been given into his head at once, simultaneously making him a genius and insane. If that didn't pique your interest, read it again; you missed something. With all due respect to the original cast, we need all new actors for the movie; none of the originals really have the chops for the big screen.
Best Case Scenario: The Matrix meets Silence of the Lambs
Worst Case Scenario: Joss shows too much loyalty to his original cast, and they sink a great premise
I'm showing my true colors a bit with two Joss Whedon entries on the list, but the reasoning is sound. People sign contracts to have their memories erased and for 7 years, have new ones downloaded per a client's request, before being wiped and replaced yet again at the end of their "mission." In between missions they're in a tabula rasa state, but the protagonist begins to develop a persistent personality during and between missions. The antagonist is Alpha, the "doll" who downloaded every personality he'd ever been given into his head at once, simultaneously making him a genius and insane. If that didn't pique your interest, read it again; you missed something. With all due respect to the original cast, we need all new actors for the movie; none of the originals really have the chops for the big screen.
Best Case Scenario: The Matrix meets Silence of the Lambs
Worst Case Scenario: Joss shows too much loyalty to his original cast, and they sink a great premise
6. John Doe
A show about a man who wakes up and knows literally everything except who he is. A simple, yet bursting-with-potential premise that would work much better as a movie than it did as an hour-long 22 episodes per season (God, remember when we asked showrunners to churn out that much material a year?) show on the perennially ungrateful Fox network. He can spend the movie trying to find out who he is, with the antagonist being someone similar to him, but much better informed as to their condition.
Best Case Scenario: Sherlock Holmes meets Memento
Worst Case Scenario: It forces me to remember the cheap "X-Files" turn the show took at the end when it got desperate for ratings
A show about a man who wakes up and knows literally everything except who he is. A simple, yet bursting-with-potential premise that would work much better as a movie than it did as an hour-long 22 episodes per season (God, remember when we asked showrunners to churn out that much material a year?) show on the perennially ungrateful Fox network. He can spend the movie trying to find out who he is, with the antagonist being someone similar to him, but much better informed as to their condition.
Best Case Scenario: Sherlock Holmes meets Memento
Worst Case Scenario: It forces me to remember the cheap "X-Files" turn the show took at the end when it got desperate for ratings
5. The Americans
Russian spies posing as Americans while a counter-terrorist FBI agent lives next door? Even their kids don't know their true identities? The cat-and-mouse game that premise allows would be captivating. You'd be torn on whether or not you were rooting for them. On the one hand, they're working against 'Murica! On the other, it's set during the Cold War and that ended alright, so it's OK to hope they don't get caught, right? ... Right?
Best Case Scenario: The Manchurian Candidate meets "Dexter"
Worst Case Scenario: The Manchurian Candidate meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Russian spies posing as Americans while a counter-terrorist FBI agent lives next door? Even their kids don't know their true identities? The cat-and-mouse game that premise allows would be captivating. You'd be torn on whether or not you were rooting for them. On the one hand, they're working against 'Murica! On the other, it's set during the Cold War and that ended alright, so it's OK to hope they don't get caught, right? ... Right?
Best Case Scenario: The Manchurian Candidate meets "Dexter"
Worst Case Scenario: The Manchurian Candidate meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith
4. The Killing
AMC's whodunit worked for about 3 episodes before the cracks started to show on dragging this premise out across an entire season. The movie idea is fairly straightforward: just trim the fat off the series. The ratings for the show suggest there's an ample pool of potential moviegoers who don't already know the story.
Best Case Scenario: "Law & Order" meets Se7en
Worst Case Scenario: Scream from David Arquette's point of view
AMC's whodunit worked for about 3 episodes before the cracks started to show on dragging this premise out across an entire season. The movie idea is fairly straightforward: just trim the fat off the series. The ratings for the show suggest there's an ample pool of potential moviegoers who don't already know the story.
Best Case Scenario: "Law & Order" meets Se7en
Worst Case Scenario: Scream from David Arquette's point of view
3. Homeland
The argument here is similar to "The Americans". Invoking nationalism, but sympathy for the main characters, we have a movie based on a clearly unstable CIA analyst's opinion that a returning POW has been flipped by the terrorists and is now a sleeper agent. We spend the first half of the movie not sure whether or not he is, and the second half deciding whether or not we're rooting for him to be redeemed.
Best Case Scenario: Blue Caprice meets The Usual Suspects
Worst Case Scenario: it's as unwatchable as Season 3 of "Homeland"; man, that guy just keeps getting into rooms alone with people
The argument here is similar to "The Americans". Invoking nationalism, but sympathy for the main characters, we have a movie based on a clearly unstable CIA analyst's opinion that a returning POW has been flipped by the terrorists and is now a sleeper agent. We spend the first half of the movie not sure whether or not he is, and the second half deciding whether or not we're rooting for him to be redeemed.
Best Case Scenario: Blue Caprice meets The Usual Suspects
Worst Case Scenario: it's as unwatchable as Season 3 of "Homeland"; man, that guy just keeps getting into rooms alone with people
2. Jericho
A post-apocalyptic tale, the movies (yes, a series of them) would each tackle a season, with the first movie being about the nuclear attack on 23 U.S. cities that effectively cuts off Jericho, Kansas. The tension mounts as they make contact with a nearby town, but relations are anything but cordial.
Best Case Scenario: The Book of Eli meets the concept of "not sucking" and then meets The Road
Worst Case Scenario: The Book of Eli, but we just follow Gary Oldman
A post-apocalyptic tale, the movies (yes, a series of them) would each tackle a season, with the first movie being about the nuclear attack on 23 U.S. cities that effectively cuts off Jericho, Kansas. The tension mounts as they make contact with a nearby town, but relations are anything but cordial.
Best Case Scenario: The Book of Eli meets the concept of "not sucking" and then meets The Road
Worst Case Scenario: The Book of Eli, but we just follow Gary Oldman
1. Lost
If you haven't seen it or didn't like it, you're already tired of hearing about it in pop culture, but trust me: if it had been done right, it could have been amazing. Instead, the writers ended the show like they were shocked it ever got renewed past Season 1, putting together the showrunning equivalent of "nose goes" for who had to come up with the plotlines. Conversely, the movie will move with direction and purpose. We'll explain the polar bears! We won't just forget about Walt! It'll be awesome!
Best Case Scenario: The "everybody goes to heaven" ending seems like a distant memory of a bad dream
Worst Case Scenario: We spend a full length movie exploring Nikki and Paulo
If you haven't seen it or didn't like it, you're already tired of hearing about it in pop culture, but trust me: if it had been done right, it could have been amazing. Instead, the writers ended the show like they were shocked it ever got renewed past Season 1, putting together the showrunning equivalent of "nose goes" for who had to come up with the plotlines. Conversely, the movie will move with direction and purpose. We'll explain the polar bears! We won't just forget about Walt! It'll be awesome!
Best Case Scenario: The "everybody goes to heaven" ending seems like a distant memory of a bad dream
Worst Case Scenario: We spend a full length movie exploring Nikki and Paulo