Schwarzenegger | Stallone | Willis | Russell
Where have you gone, brutish action hero? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. After the 80s and 90s saw an explosion of all-man action heroes, the 00s saw their quick demise. Now I'm not talking about all action heroes. If you want sophisticated, cerebral heroes who pick their foes apart, I have plenty of James Bonds, Jason Bournes, and the particularly intriguing upcoming Jack Ryan to show you. No, I mean men who wade into a sea of enemies with nothing but a machine gun that has an unlimited capacity for ammo, men so manly they sweat testosterone. They just don't make them anymore. Why is that? Did we really exhaust the genre? And if so, why hasn't that style of action movie experienced the nice retirement that westerns have, reappearing once every few years with a truly great example of what they can be (Tombstone, 3:10 to Yuma for westerns). More than just changing audience tastes, or a demand for more intellectual content, I think it boils down to one reason above all the others: the superhero movie.
Think about what we ask our action heroes to do. Shrug off bullet wounds, fight against impossible odds, always do the right thing; all things we've transferred over to superheroes. So how about it, Hollywood? Instead of rebooting Spiderman once a decade, how about giving us a new action hero to watch? I stress "new", because watching Stallone parody himself in Expendables movies, or Bruce Willis sully the once proud Die Hard name isn't all that appealing. And the worst part is, they have options to cast already here!
Think about what we ask our action heroes to do. Shrug off bullet wounds, fight against impossible odds, always do the right thing; all things we've transferred over to superheroes. So how about it, Hollywood? Instead of rebooting Spiderman once a decade, how about giving us a new action hero to watch? I stress "new", because watching Stallone parody himself in Expendables movies, or Bruce Willis sully the once proud Die Hard name isn't all that appealing. And the worst part is, they have options to cast already here!
Timothy Olyphant
Our best example of a Bruce Willis style actor. A man who doesn't need an imposing physique to be imposing. The least believable part of Justified is when anybody disagrees with Raylan. I maintain that if Timothy Olyphant had been cast as Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead, we'd have had this whole zombie thing cleared up in two seasons, tops. On the downside, he's been riding this Seth Bullock / Raylan Givens archetype so long, it'd take a couple movies to get him to stop wearing a cowboy hat. On the upside, he'd put female butts in seats, and a widely cast demographic net appeals to Hollywood.
Our best example of a Bruce Willis style actor. A man who doesn't need an imposing physique to be imposing. The least believable part of Justified is when anybody disagrees with Raylan. I maintain that if Timothy Olyphant had been cast as Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead, we'd have had this whole zombie thing cleared up in two seasons, tops. On the downside, he's been riding this Seth Bullock / Raylan Givens archetype so long, it'd take a couple movies to get him to stop wearing a cowboy hat. On the upside, he'd put female butts in seats, and a widely cast demographic net appeals to Hollywood.
Chris Evans
A lot of my case here rests upon his role in Sunshine, an overlooked sci-fi movie where he plays one of the most memorable badasses of recent years. So while it may be a thin case, if you've seen the movie, you know it's a strong one. Alas, the allure of all that Marvel money proved too much, and we're probably not seeing him outside of the Captain America persona in a major film for quite some time.
A lot of my case here rests upon his role in Sunshine, an overlooked sci-fi movie where he plays one of the most memorable badasses of recent years. So while it may be a thin case, if you've seen the movie, you know it's a strong one. Alas, the allure of all that Marvel money proved too much, and we're probably not seeing him outside of the Captain America persona in a major film for quite some time.
Vin Diesel
Now that he appears to be done making movies like The Pacifier, he seems to have settled into a rotation of Fast and Furious movies, Riddick sequels, and a rumored xXx return. Fast & Furious has morphed into a delightfully no-cares-given franchise that seeks only to outdo the ridiculousness of the one before it. That actually works for action movies that don't take themselves too seriously (see: Shoot 'Em Up). Sadly at 46, he's probably realized his niche too late to actually occupy it for any extended amount of time.
Now that he appears to be done making movies like The Pacifier, he seems to have settled into a rotation of Fast and Furious movies, Riddick sequels, and a rumored xXx return. Fast & Furious has morphed into a delightfully no-cares-given franchise that seeks only to outdo the ridiculousness of the one before it. That actually works for action movies that don't take themselves too seriously (see: Shoot 'Em Up). Sadly at 46, he's probably realized his niche too late to actually occupy it for any extended amount of time.
Dwayne Johnson
I'm not calling him The Rock, because look at that picture. Would you tell him what to call himself? Vin's co-star in the F&F series, he's the only one Hollywood seems even remotely interested in casting in the type of tentpole action movie I'm talking about, and with an upcoming Hercules portrayal, he could be the second coming of the non-superhero action star. He pretty much followed the same career trajectory as Vin (If you don't remember The Tooth Fairy, lucky you!), but did it young enough to learn from the mistakes. Let's just hope this retirement from wrestling is a permanent one. Still, at 41, he's no spring chicken.
I'm not calling him The Rock, because look at that picture. Would you tell him what to call himself? Vin's co-star in the F&F series, he's the only one Hollywood seems even remotely interested in casting in the type of tentpole action movie I'm talking about, and with an upcoming Hercules portrayal, he could be the second coming of the non-superhero action star. He pretty much followed the same career trajectory as Vin (If you don't remember The Tooth Fairy, lucky you!), but did it young enough to learn from the mistakes. Let's just hope this retirement from wrestling is a permanent one. Still, at 41, he's no spring chicken.
With Dwayne Johnson being the only contender to check off all the boxes, at least we're not left hopeless, but come on! We need a Snake Plissken to his John McClane! Get on it, Hollywood! Find some gruff-talking actor, throw him on a cycle of HGH, and let's get cracking!
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