Natalie defends a movie she loves even though she knows it's terrible.
Who hasn’t seen Van Helsing? No one. It was one of those movies that everyone thought would be great and it really should have been. And then you watch it and realize it did nothing right. It is really quite a shame and that is one of the movies I will be very excited to see when it comes out again, starring Tom Cruise (not a joke). It scores an abysmal 23% on Rotten Tomatoes and I love every minute of this terrible movie.
Carl, Van Helsing, and the Monster Why I Love It:
5. Hugh Jackman has long flowing hair and carries an steampunk-looking automatic crossbow. But these are no normal arrows; these are silver tipped, vampire slaying arrows. Although sometimes they need to be dipped in holy water to actually get the vampire slaying job done.
4. The fact that nothing can kill Dracula except for a werewolf is also pretty awesome. It means everything that Van Helsing tries until the last 15 minutes of the movie only gets him thrown across whatever giant castle room they are in at the time.
3. The idea that Dracula was related to the family that now hunts him and how his deal with the devil that turned him into the vampire, is what caused them to hunt him in exchange for their salvation from eternal damnation.
2. Some really crazy outrageous scenes with Van Helsing fighting other monsters such as Mr. Hyde and befriending the Frankenstein monster. Actually, thinking back most of the movie is one outrageous scene after another.
1. A rag tag group of monsters from Frankenstein to a friar with new-agey gadgets has to save the world from a nearly unbeatable Dracula and all of his mutant vampire bat babies.
5. Hugh Jackman has long flowing hair and carries an steampunk-looking automatic crossbow. But these are no normal arrows; these are silver tipped, vampire slaying arrows. Although sometimes they need to be dipped in holy water to actually get the vampire slaying job done.
4. The fact that nothing can kill Dracula except for a werewolf is also pretty awesome. It means everything that Van Helsing tries until the last 15 minutes of the movie only gets him thrown across whatever giant castle room they are in at the time.
3. The idea that Dracula was related to the family that now hunts him and how his deal with the devil that turned him into the vampire, is what caused them to hunt him in exchange for their salvation from eternal damnation.
2. Some really crazy outrageous scenes with Van Helsing fighting other monsters such as Mr. Hyde and befriending the Frankenstein monster. Actually, thinking back most of the movie is one outrageous scene after another.
1. A rag tag group of monsters from Frankenstein to a friar with new-agey gadgets has to save the world from a nearly unbeatable Dracula and all of his mutant vampire bat babies.
Why It's Terrible:
5. There are so many plot holes and storylines that straight up just don’t make sense. Like the fact that Van Helsing has no memories but has been around for thousands of years (which is cool and totally could have been turned into something awesome). But we find out in the end that he is Gabriel , the left hand of God. Lame.
4. An overuse of CGI to try and make the movie seem spectacular and mythical, but when in reality it just makes it completely unbelievable.
3. The dialogue is flat and there is nothing to really be offered or contributed to make the movie feel necessary or sincere.
2. The movie tries to cross the genres of action and horror/thriller and doesn’t really do a great job of achieving either, although it does a much better job at blowing things up and lighting them on fire with lightning, than expected.
1. The rag tag group of misfits that is trying to destroy Dracula and his mutant vampire babies has very little reason to be banded together and even less chemistry to keep them together throughout the movie!
5. There are so many plot holes and storylines that straight up just don’t make sense. Like the fact that Van Helsing has no memories but has been around for thousands of years (which is cool and totally could have been turned into something awesome). But we find out in the end that he is Gabriel , the left hand of God. Lame.
4. An overuse of CGI to try and make the movie seem spectacular and mythical, but when in reality it just makes it completely unbelievable.
3. The dialogue is flat and there is nothing to really be offered or contributed to make the movie feel necessary or sincere.
2. The movie tries to cross the genres of action and horror/thriller and doesn’t really do a great job of achieving either, although it does a much better job at blowing things up and lighting them on fire with lightning, than expected.
1. The rag tag group of misfits that is trying to destroy Dracula and his mutant vampire babies has very little reason to be banded together and even less chemistry to keep them together throughout the movie!
Although the execution of this story was poorly done and watching this movie’s attempt at action/horror is actually laughable I love it nonetheless. I love the plot and the cheesiness and the entire potential and story that the movie had and could have been. But I guess we will never know, at least not until the next one…
RSS Feed