“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”
-- Michelangelo
-- Michelangelo
I used the above quote because I don't mean to sound too negative on the movies profiled below. The lofty heights some of them climbed to before falling just short makes them admirable movies, especially in a world littered with garbage like The Legend of Hercules and I, Frankenstein. Still, there's something tragic in how good they could've been except for one fatal flaw. I therefore propose the creation of a new position in Hollywood: The Fixer! This person would be empowered like an auditor within corporations to look at a movie's script and setup before shooting and then at the canned footage just before shooting wraps and make any changes necessary. This person would be credited not only with changes made to improve the movie (keep the original variant on as a Blu-Ray Bonus Feature; the public will tell you if they're doing a good job there) but also getting out of the way when a masterpiece is being made. Will this ever happen? Of course not; the egos in Hollywood are much too large to ever allow this, so where authors have editors, filmmakers will continue to roam free. That doesn't mean it can't make for a fun thought experiment though! For this piece (that I get the feeling will reappear in the future as I think of more movies), I'll put on my "Fixer" hat and tell you how one small change could've turned these movies into true classics. Obviously, these movies will be spoiled within their entries, so don't read their entry if you haven't seen that movie.
The Devil's Advocate
| The Flaw: Keanu Reeves | The Fix: Anyone But |
It's easy to see the finished product and realize that Reeves' terrible Southern accent should've had a restraining order taken out on it by the producers, but at no point during shooting did anyone pull the plug and go back to the drawing board on casting the protagonist. It's a shame, because Al Pacino obviously loves playing the Devil and his sly smile is perfect for the role. Charlize Theron wasn't a household name yet, but kills it as the wife with a tenuous grip on sanity at best. Some sequences are genuinely creepy even though this is a thriller and not a horror movie, and if Al Pacino has anyone to interact with instead of the wooden Reeves, he pauses just long enough on chewing the scenery to win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Considering Brad Pitt was signed to the lead at one point and Edward Norton and John Cusack were both considered after that, there's no excuse for the Reeves casting. My personal choice would've been Johnny Depp. We get him a devil-themed movie to do before The Ninth Gate and in so doing, show Depp he doesn't need to play characters like Raoul Duke just to be noticed. His acting ability pushes the movie beyond "interesting premise" and into "all-time great".
Law Abiding Citizen
| The Flaw: The Ending | The Fix: Flip It |
Clyde Shelton spends the entire movie being several zip codes mentally ahead of prideful DA Nick Rice. In the final scene, however, despite Rice being waiting for Shelton as he re-enters his cell, he fails to notice how smug and uninterested in talking Rice is before detonating the bomb Rice has moved into his cell. The Fixer would've watched this final scene and scrapped the outcome. Rice can still move the bomb into Shelton's cell and deliver his self-righteous monologue. He can still walk away while Shelton dials the cell phone. However, the only call he's making is to Rice to tell him "wrong bomb" before hanging up. While Rice tries to understand the meaning of the call, he gets another, this one from the protective detail placed on his wife and daughter (several earlier scenes need to be reshot to mention this). There's been an explosion. We can go in several directions from here: Rice can return to Shelton's cell to see him pulling out the suitcase from under his bed and chastising Rice for his hubris, a lesson he still hadn't learned in the original ending. Or, Rice can race out of the prison as we cut to a too-satisfied Shelton. Either way, the movie leaves us with the haunting realization that Shelton had lost even his loosening grasp on what it meant to be "responsible" and had now killed an innocent woman and child and that Rice will have to live with the fact that rather than just thwart Shelton's plan, he had to try to claim "victory", resulting in the deaths of those closest to him. Much better than the forgettable ending we got that almost negated what an amazing villain the movie had built Shelton into.
The Matrix Sequels
| The Flaw: Neo Gains Powers In the Real World | The Fix: He Doesn't |
Another Keanu entry, but he isn't the problem this time! The original Matrix is a classic; we might as well get that out of the way now. If you don't agree, I can hardly fix the sequels for you. But if you grant me that point, then I'd posit what ruined the sequels was Neo gaining some of his superpowers in the real world, not just The Matrix. It completely invalidated everything the first movie had built: the machines had to be fought in the simulation where Neo could bend the rules in humanity's favor. The sequels ret-conned all of that into just the origin story for TechnoJesus, a superhero with a black leather fetish. What was an interesting philosophical story became a rich man's Wanted. But are you really telling me that once Smith starts running rampant, Neo couldn't arrange safe passage to the Machine City by jacking into the Matrix, beating an Agent into submission, and telling him to report that Neo could take care of the rogue Agent Smith for the Machines if they declare a ceasefire on humanity? In return, the Machines would get Neo, the one thorn in their side (after he refused to play his part at the end of Reloaded) delivered to them on a silver platter. Narratively simpler than the convoluted mess we got, the sequels still probably wouldn't have been the equal of the original, but at least they wouldn't have tarnished its legacy.
Alien: Resurrection
| The Flaw: Low Budget | The Fix: Spend Money |
Made for a meager budget of $75 million, Alien: Resurrection took one of the most valuable brands in Hollywood and buried it so far under layers of crap that it took 15 years to unearth it (to questionable results). The most easily solvable problem on this list, the studio that was about to throw $110 million at Speed 2: Cruise Control could've just spent the money to make the movie that was originally called for in the screenplay. Instead of an ending in space, we would've gotten one on Earth, as humanity mounts a last-ditch effort to exterminate the Alien horde overrunning them. Instead of the lamest Alien conceivable (not including Mac), we would've gotten a bone white, Alien with spider legs that used pincers mounted on the side of its face to hold your head still so you'd be forced to look directly at its eyeless face while its tongue shot out, impaled you, and drained your blood. If you're paying attention, that Alien is also what's known as "the reason for every nightmare from its discovery forward until the heat death of the universe". The other issue that could be solved with more money: if you compare the name "Jean-Pierre Jeunet" (the director of this turd) to the names "Ridley Scott, James Cameron, and David Fincher" (the directors of the first three), it just doesn't compare. Get Danny Boyle or a comparable director into the chair, and give them the money necessary (let's agree on $120 million and save the Earth battle sequences for Alien: Extinction, the fifth movie in the series that would've been made around 2002 in the alternate universe where this one torched the box office) to do it right, and there's no need for the incoherent mess of Prometheus 15 years later.
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